Sunday, October 30, 2005

Sariya Thavara aka Right or Wrong

The protagonist in the tamil movie Indian (Hindustani in Hindi) steadfastly refuses to bribe and as a result indirectly causes the death of his own daughter. Obviously no sane person would do this. On the other hand, we dont go around bribing every single person we meet to achieve our objectives. Why?? We believe that the former is right and the latter is wrong though either case involves the same wrong act aka bribing. So what is the difference? Where do we draw the line?

The only difference that I can see is the objective of the action. Now that brings us to the question of whether the end result / aim of the action justifies the action, no matter what it involves. I certainly dont have an answer. There are a lot of factors that come into play here and there simply cannot be an answer here for all situations.

Whilst I was working in Soliton I had an accident. Thankfully I escaped with minimal hurt but my bike was badly damaged. I had to change the chassis of my bike. When this happens, one needs to re-register the chassis number of the bike with the RTO. Now take my word for this, dealing with government employees (the rare exceptions in govt service, please excuse me) is probably the most painful task one can ever embark on. There are a hell of a lot of procedures and you will need to run around a lot. You have to go to the RTO office / insurance office / office of the financier who funded your bike a lot of times to get things going. Now I had a great team in Soliton and they allowed me to step in and step out of the office any time I liked. So I was able to run around personally and get things done without having to pay a single paisa in the form of bribe. What could I have done if Soliton hadnt permitted me to do that or if there was some other thing that resulted in me not being able to run around?

After I had resigned from Soliton I had to shift to Chennai to take up a job in HCL. I had to re-register my bike with the RTO Chennai and had to get an NOC within 5 days from the Bangalore RTO. Had the govt mechanism been efficient I could have got it done. We all know how the RTO office functions and hence to get the job done in 5 days, I had to bribe someone. I really couldnt bring myelf to actually diong the act of bribing someone and hence I got an agent to obtain the NOC. The agent is also going to pay commision to the RTO folks. So, indirectly I am a party to a wrong act. Not doing the actual act does not absolve me of guilt as I was the trigger for the act. But I had only 5 days to get the NOC. So the only option left to me was to go to the agent. Now is this wrong? Having given homilies to many people on the importance of being upright and straight forward, what have I done now? Isnt this hypocisy at its best?

There are a lot of such things that we come across in our everyday acts. Another common example is when students aspiring to study abroad get financial statements from agents. American universities expect the applicants to show cash reserves of close to Rs.20 lakhs which is simply not possible for the vast majority of Indians. Only NRIs and the extremely rich would have such resources. Even many of the upper middle class people might not have so much cash resources. All their resources will probably be in the form of property. So what do the aspiring students do? Do they have to abandon their hopes of higher studies for the sake of not doing anything wrong. They simply get the job done from an agent. Is this right? Does the end justify the means?

After thinking about this for a long time I came to the conclusion that I am incapable of deciding on this and hence I decided to take refuge behind thiruvalluvar who wrote the following in his magnum opus Thirukural

"Vaaymai ena paduvathu yaathenil, yaathonrum theemai ilatha sol"
meaning......
"The action that does not cause any harm to anyone is the right action" (meaning adapted to the context)

Saturday, October 22, 2005

Gnaybagam Varuthe Gnyabagam Varuthe - 2

The rustic chemical engineer whom I had mentioned about in earlier post did something based on an extraordinary piece of logic that resulted in us all really swearing at him. The ususal practice in our house is that the person leaving the house last should ensure that all the lights in the house are switched off. That particular day this was not done and hence the 60watts philips bulb in the rest room was burning all day. This fellow came home at about 7 and wanted to use the rest room. He entered the rest room and saw that a frog was sitting on the bulb holder. He thought of various methods of getting rid of the frog. Finally he decided the most potent weapon to accomplish this monumental task and using that got rid of the frog.
There were four of us staying in that house. The remaining three of us were from the same class and we all returned to the house at 9. It was a decent neighbourhood and hence the roads were all well lit. The only dark spot on that road was our house. We assumed that our room mate had not come and we switched on the lights but nothing came on. Cursing the EB we went to the terrace. There we saw our room mate. I quickly went over to him and asked him if he had reported this to the EB.
"illa da, ithukellam EB vendam... I will take care of that myself. fuse poirukku avalavuthaan"
"fuse poirichcha. eppudi pochchu?"
"toilet bulb vedichiduchchu da"
"ennathu.... eppudi da"
"athuva.... oru thavalai toilet bulb mela irunduchcha, naan atha veratarthukaga"
"atha veratarthukakga... enna da panne, bulb eppudi vedichchuthu?"
"athukaga, athu mela thanni oothinen da....."
"#$#$%#%#%#$%^#$%^#$%"

"Dei treat eppo da kudupa..........??"
"ethuku treat"
"ethuka??? US porada naaye... moodikittu treat kuduthuttu po"
"Athellam oru mayirum kuduka mudiyathu. odi po"
"dei naaye, nee treat kudukalena... flight kalambum pothu, kaka oru wingla mattum pee poi flight kavunthudum da"
"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

ABC (for want of a better alias for this guy, let me call him ABC) had always wanted to sing in the college culturals. He didnt possess a golden voice or something but certainly did possess a decent voice and a good music sense... till his second year his senios always superceded him and he never got a chance to perform... but on this occasion he was in his third year and hence he was going to sing...
This friend of mine was a nice friend of ABC and ABC had requested him to be in the auditorium when he sang...
I walked into my friends room.... "Dei enga da saapidalam, messuliya... inniku special VIT bomb... (thats what we called our idli)"
"Venam da... athaan ECE dept culturals nadakuthula, we will go there and eat"
So we strolled upto the canteen and started to munch some stuff....
ABC is practicing hard his favourite song and wants his rendition to be widely applauded.... but they say fate is not without a sense of irony... there is this final year guy who has also not got a chance to sing from his first year and hence he goes to the organizer of the event..
Half way thru our dinner my friendly suddenly said.... "man look at that babe there.. intha hindikara ponnunga vanthalum vanthanga, college kala kattiduthu po... dei methuva saapidunga da... we should not finish before them"
"Dei organizer... I am a final year student and i will be leaving the college in 6months... I want to sing and you better gimme a change, illati magane nee seththe"... and he had a lot of hooligans around him and the organizer was visibly scared... seeing this the hooligans increased their volume and started shouting at him again..
After a sumptous meal, none of us could get up..."Anegama nalaiku kalaila vellore sewage block thaan ninaikaren"... that was my friend....
"uhum... athu varaikum thaangathu... naan ingaiye orama"...
"Dei naaye s****** mooduda"
"Naanum atha thaan da try panren.. mudiyala... athaannnnn"
"thu, echchakla naaye.. professionals mathiriya pesareenga"
"thoda, vanthutaru, cisco employee"
The organizer went to his staff and told about the problem... the staff was also a bit perturbed about this... "OK, after two more events ABC has to sing right... he is only a third year guy, lets chuck him out..."
"paavanga avan, 2 weeksa practice panittu irukaan"
"enna panrathu... enakkum kashtamthaan irukku... but we dont have a choice"
"Oh shit... I forgot da... ABC is singing today and he wanted me to come... f***, i better run now"
"Dei odatha da.. vazhiliye vanthuda poguthu.."
"hahahahaahahahahahahahaha".. we laughed at the way he ran to the audi
"ABC, I have to talk to you do da"
"Sollu da machcchan"
"Dei... athu vanthu.. you cannnot sing today da...."
"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"seniors galata panraanga da... one of their guys want to sing"
"f*** you da..... and you are culturals tooooooooo"
My friend is running towards the audi i.e. he assumes he is running... it is more like the tortoises slow walk....
before he could reach the audi or talk to anyone he sees ABC coming towards him... then he says to me...
"shit da partha, i didnt hear him singing... he will be upset... i am going to just say he sang greatly.. just play along..."
"Hey machchan.... it was simply excellent da... seriousa da.. i dont have words to describe that song da... too good....
SPB intha paata padatti... nee thaan da itha padirukkanum.. seriousa da machchan, en kathule innum ithu olichikitte irukku da...
you are indeed blessed by god da... you posses such a wonderful voice.. do build on this da... appudiye uttudathe"
"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"yen da onnume solla maatengara... naan joke adikala da.... meyyalume summa nachchunu irunthuchchu...."
"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

From katpadi station to vellore there is a straight route and there is a circuitous route... and whenever we goto katpadi station we hear all these bus conductors shouting and inviting you to their buses.... it is rather like coaxing you to come to their buses... I was walking with the master of kadi from inside of the station to outside...
"Sir vaanga sir vaanga.... vaanga sir vaanga.. vellore polam sir, inta busla vaaanga sir"...
the master of kadis reply... "ennamo koopitu vechchu sappadu potu ponnu kuduka pora mathiri illa koopadareenga"
"Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr"
"Dei naaye, mooditu vaada... adichchu gidichchu vekka poranga da".... I was already pissing in my pants... these bus fellows are indeed dangerous
"Nera vellore, vera vellore".. this bus was not taking the circuitous route... he is taking the straight route...
Master of kadi sprang into action again... "Nera pona railway station buildingla muttidumga, velloreku thirimbi poganum.. ithu kooda theriyam bus otareenga..."
I ran out of the station...

Will try to continue.... :)

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Gnyabagam Varuthe Gnyabagam Varuthe - 1

Statutory Warning: This post contains some of the utterances of my friends during our college days and when we were in our hostel. So the post will contain utterances and references to things that are objectionable in public. If you consider such thinks offensive, then please do not proceed further with this post.

I had a great last weekend. I made a trip to Tirupathi with a couple of good old friends. The trip was very spiritual and we had loads of fun. It was basically a trip to Tirupathi and hence there was no dearth of spiritually. My friends who accompanied me are great entertainers and hence there was absolute no dearth of fun. It was a great trip in all. We managed to recollect some truly funny, rather hilarious moments during our college days. Just thinking of it made us all nostalgic, and of course, laugh like mad. Im penning down some of those events that came to our mind. Obviously these are timing jokes which were extremely funny at the moment they were delivered. They might not be as funny now but rest assured that at the moment they were told we were all laughing like mad.


CS people were all huddled in a room and trying seriously to make sense of this thing called Linux. In comes this rustic chemical engineer in the making and asks one guy in the room.
"Dei, ennada ippudi ulunthu ulunthu padikireenga"
"Linux da, nalaiku test irukku"
"Oh..."
After thinking on it for some time.
"Appo LineY eppo padipeenga"
"#$%^&*&^%$#"


The master of kadi in our circle wakes up at 6AM itself on a vernal sunday morning. In comes his mech class mate. Only yesterday was he badly bruised by one of masters' super kadis which left him speechless for close to an hour. He should have learnt his lesson but unfortunately...
"Dei, yen da athukulla elunthutte..."
"Kosu bayangarama kadikithu da... thoongave mudiyilla"
Suddenly a brainwave comes to this guy and he wants to get even with the master....
"Kosuku thaan palle kidaiyathe, athu unna eppudi kadikkum"
The master gives a big grin... which is a very very bad sign for the listener
"Seruppuku kooda thaan pallu kidaiyathu... athu kadikale... athu mathiri thaan"
"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"


They say dont count your chickens before they hatch. A very apt saying in todays world were people start building castles in the air. One of my friends was having a conference on yahoo messenger with a couple of his friends. They were all discussing about their future amongst other things. Suddenly one guy got carried away and started to talk a lot. This was the response he got as reply from my friend.
"Dude, lets not count the baby monkeys before the mother monkey gets f***ed"
Yahoo messenger could not bear this and it closed the conference!!!


Many of my close friends are from the department of EIE and all of them had a great working relationship with one of their staff. One of these EIE guys was quite a lazy bum in college. He was also a kind of very concerned about the cleanliness of his undergarments and steadfastly refused to wear one that was not washed. He had about 10 pairs of undergarments so as to compensate for his laziness. But one weekend, his laziness got the better of him and he didnt wash any of them. So he didnt have any to wear the next day to college. So he decided to bunk classes that day.
The staff, whom these guys were very close with, noticed his absence and enquired about him to one of his room mates, who was also from EIE.
Now this room mate was under specific instructions to inform the staff that the lazy bum was ill. He nodded his head from pole to pole while in the room but the moement she asked the question he decided to tell otherwise.
"Mam, He has no underwears to wear to college today. So he is on leave!!!!!!!"
You can imagine the expression on the her face when she heard this!!!


If you did your B.E. from Madras University then youd certainly be aware of the marking system. Well, it cannot be described in one word. In fact, all the expletives in the dictionatry would not suffice to describe that. A truly patheric marking system. One can really feel the truth in this only when one has really been hit by it. One of my close friends from EIE was hit by that marking system as New Orleand was hit by Katrina.
This friend of mine is also from the EIE department. He was a CS student in school and hence the stupid Madras University syllabus was a cake walk for him. He used to coach everyone in class. He was also quite confident after the exams. The results came in after the sem holidays. Whilst everyone whom he coached above 80 , he got....
2.
Yes. you read that right. he got 2 out of 100. Just 2 marks out of 100. Unbelievable it was, for all of us. The guy who literally copied his paper verbatim for 15 '2 mark' questions got 62.
Guess, youd agree. It is highly difficult or rather highly impossible to score 2 out of 100 in those stupid Madras University exams. Obviously, he was very dejected and shattered. He was sitting on his bed in his room and all of his friends were sitting around him and were trying to console him.
There were various theories that people were inventing to console him.
"Dei, it is probably 72 or 82. etho oru ***** vaayan, thappa potturapan. Nee retotaling apply pannu machchi, ellam seriya poirukkum" - this was his class mate
"Amam da... it should be 72 or 82. probably even 92", said another guy
"illati they might have failed to add up all the page totals", opined another
"illa etho oru kammanati, first page totala eduthu pottu iruppan" - this was from the guy who copied from him.
His room mate who was silent all this while, starts...
"illa da, athu 12aa kooda irukalam, 22aavum irukalam... "
"!#$%^#$!%^%%$$!%%^%$!"


This one did not happen in my college but took place in my friends college. There was a guy in my friends class who had a big crush on a female in his class. This was the end of 7th semester. He was very depressed at the thought of the sem holidays coz he wont be able to see her for close to a month. After pushing over that one month with great diffculty he came running to class for the first day of his 8th semester in college to talk to his sweet heart. But, as usual, she did not reciprocate any of his feelings right through last sem. This sem she went a step further. The first thing she did this sem was to distribute her marriage invitation to everyone. And of course she gave it to our hero too. He was sitting red faced right through the morning sessions. Then he ran to the hostels during the morning interval. He came back after 30 minutes. The class was already in place and the next lecturer was taking classes.
A deadly silence descended on the class when they all looked at him. The lecturer who normally does not stop talking even for a second went silent. Everyone was looking at him. The girl who gave the invitation was almost on tears.
He walked into the class in slow motion. Stood in front of the girl for some time that seemed like ages and then walked to his place with a big grin on his face. The lecturer who didnt quite know what to do all along finally mustered enough gumption to say this.
"You sir, please remove that 0 watts bulb hanging around your neck"

To be contd....

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Its Rrrrrrrrrraining in Chennaiiiiiiiiiiiii

and WTF am i doing??? sitting in office and digging into the C++ code written by someone else...

there is a wonderful aphorism about digging into someone elses' code from Mr.P.Venkat, a Senior lecturer from the Dept of CSE in VIT. I can now realize the absolute truth in that piece of wisdom. how tersely worded and how appropriate. Venkat sir, I salute theeee......

How wonderful would it be to wear a jerkin and stroll down quiet streets in this weather with the words "Ill be your dreams, Ill be your wishes, Ill be your fantasies...." on ones lips. My heart pines for it. Will I ever get a chance to enjoy such simple pleasures every human is entitled to during his brief sojourn on planet earth. Hopefully sooner than later!!!

My work involves the sustenance of a massively distributed system that manages networks containing millions of nodes. As is the case with all massive applications, bugs are galore and everytime the customer finds a bug, the engineer who is responsible for fixing it will have his arse on fire. I just finished one and am about to take up another one.

Ah, the first rains of this monsoon. It is fantastic... With flowers blooming, fresh air and chill climate, having a stroll with absolutely no shit on your mind... that is bliss. Every nature would love this. Thankfully not all nature lovers are unfortunate like me, having to dig into some shitty code. Hopefully one day, Ill take up a job that would give me time for all this.

the lab was silent with everyone trying hard to appear to be coding to avoid being pulled up by the lab instructor. suddenly one of my friends, wanting to impress him, called him and asked him to debug his program. his program for the conversion of a multi level tree to a binary tree using mutual recursion would not work.
"dei unakku arivu illa. innoruthan codea debug panrathu, innoruthan pondatiya thetharathu mathiri. it is not possible. it is very difficult as you dont know the structure."