Gnyabagam Varuthe Gnyabagam Varuthe - 1

Statutory Warning: This post contains some of the utterances of my friends during our college days and when we were in our hostel. So the post will contain utterances and references to things that are objectionable in public. If you consider such thinks offensive, then please do not proceed further with this post.

I had a great last weekend. I made a trip to Tirupathi with a couple of good old friends. The trip was very spiritual and we had loads of fun. It was basically a trip to Tirupathi and hence there was no dearth of spiritually. My friends who accompanied me are great entertainers and hence there was absolute no dearth of fun. It was a great trip in all. We managed to recollect some truly funny, rather hilarious moments during our college days. Just thinking of it made us all nostalgic, and of course, laugh like mad. Im penning down some of those events that came to our mind. Obviously these are timing jokes which were extremely funny at the moment they were delivered. They might not be as funny now but rest assured that at the moment they were told we were all laughing like mad.

CS people were all huddled in a room and trying seriously to make sense of this thing called Linux. In comes this rustic chemical engineer in the making and asks one guy in the room.

"Dei, ennada ippudi ulunthu ulunthu padikireenga"

"Linux da, nalaiku test irukku"

"Oh..."

After thinking on it for some time.

"Appo LineY eppo padipeenga"

"#$%^&*&^%$#"

The master of kadi in our circle wakes up at 6AM itself on a vernal sunday morning. In comes his mech class mate. Only yesterday was he badly bruised by one of masters' super kadis which left him speechless for close to an hour. He should have learnt his lesson but unfortunately...

"Dei, yen da athukulla elunthutte..."

"Kosu bayangarama kadikithu da... thoongave mudiyilla"

Suddenly a brainwave comes to this guy and he wants to get even with the master....

"Kosuku thaan palle kidaiyathe, athu unna eppudi kadikkum"

The master gives a big grin... which is a very very bad sign for the listener

"Seruppuku kooda thaan pallu kidaiyathu... athu kadikale... athu mathiri thaan"

"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

They say dont count your chickens before they hatch. A very apt saying in todays world were people start building castles in the air. One of my friends was having a conference on yahoo messenger with a couple of his friends. They were all discussing about their future amongst other things. Suddenly one guy got carried away and started to talk a lot. This was the response he got as reply from my friend.

"Dude, lets not count the baby monkeys before the mother monkey gets f***ed"

Yahoo messenger could not bear this and it closed the conference!!!

Many of my close friends are from the department of EIE and all of them had a great working relationship with one of their staff. One of these EIE guys was quite a lazy bum in college. He was also a kind of very concerned about the cleanliness of his undergarments and steadfastly refused to wear one that was not washed. He had about 10 pairs of undergarments so as to compensate for his laziness. But one weekend, his laziness got the better of him and he didnt wash any of them. So he didnt have any to wear the next day to college. So he decided to bunk classes that day.

The staff, whom these guys were very close with, noticed his absence and enquired about him to one of his room mates, who was also from EIE.

Now this room mate was under specific instructions to inform the staff that the lazy bum was ill. He nodded his head from pole to pole while in the room but the moement she asked the question he decided to tell otherwise.

"Mam, He has no underwears to wear to college today. So he is on leave!!!!!!!"

You can imagine the expression on the her face when she heard this!!!

If you did your B.E. from Madras University then youd certainly be aware of the marking system. Well, it cannot be described in one word. In fact, all the expletives in the dictionatry would not suffice to describe that. A truly patheric marking system. One can really feel the truth in this only when one has really been hit by it. One of my close friends from EIE was hit by that marking system as New Orleand was hit by Katrina.

This friend of mine is also from the EIE department. He was a CS student in school and hence the stupid Madras University syllabus was a cake walk for him. He used to coach everyone in class. He was also quite confident after the exams. The results came in after the sem holidays. Whilst everyone whom he coached above 80 , he got....

2.

Yes. you read that right. he got 2 out of 100. Just 2 marks out of 100. Unbelievable it was, for all of us. The guy who literally copied his paper verbatim for 15 '2 mark' questions got 62.

Guess, youd agree. It is highly difficult or rather highly impossible to score 2 out of 100 in those stupid Madras University exams. Obviously, he was very dejected and shattered. He was sitting on his bed in his room and all of his friends were sitting around him and were trying to console him.

There were various theories that people were inventing to console him.

"Dei, it is probably 72 or 82. etho oru ***** vaayan, thappa potturapan. Nee retotaling apply pannu machchi, ellam seriya poirukkum" - this was his class mate

"Amam da... it should be 72 or 82. probably even 92", said another guy

"illati they might have failed to add up all the page totals", opined another

"illa etho oru kammanati, first page totala eduthu pottu iruppan" - this was from the guy who copied from him.

His room mate who was silent all this while, starts...

"illa da, athu 12aa kooda irukalam, 22aavum irukalam... "

"!#$%^#$!%^%%$$!%%^%$!"

This one did not happen in my college but took place in my friends college. There was a guy in my friends class who had a big crush on a female in his class. This was the end of 7th semester. He was very depressed at the thought of the sem holidays coz he wont be able to see her for close to a month. After pushing over that one month with great diffculty he came running to class for the first day of his 8th semester in college to talk to his sweet heart. But, as usual, she did not reciprocate any of his feelings right through last sem. This sem she went a step further. The first thing she did this sem was to distribute her marriage invitation to everyone. And of course she gave it to our hero too. He was sitting red faced right through the morning sessions. Then he ran to the hostels during the morning interval. He came back after 30 minutes. The class was already in place and the next lecturer was taking classes.

A deadly silence descended on the class when they all looked at him. The lecturer who normally does not stop talking even for a second went silent. Everyone was looking at him. The girl who gave the invitation was almost on tears.

He walked into the class in slow motion. Stood in front of the girl for some time that seemed like ages and then walked to his place with a big grin on his face. The lecturer who didnt quite know what to do all along finally mustered enough gumption to say this.

"You sir, please remove that 0 watts bulb hanging around your neck"

To be contd....