Kamam

Kamam ennum antha kaateri ennai soozhum
Ennai pamparam pol suzhatri vaikkum
En ariviai mazhuga adikkum
En manathil vishathai ootrum

Olinthu athu aadiya aatam pothum
En ennangalil nanjai kalanthahthu pothum
En vizhiyin koormaiyai kuraithathu pothum
En manathin vairagyathai azhithathu pothum

Enge olinthirukirathu endrum theriyavillai
Eppadi kalainthu erivathu endrum puriyavillai
Eppadi oru nodiyil avathairikirathu endrum theriyavillai
Eppadi athai sirai vaipathu endrum puriyavillai

Iraiva nee vanthu vidu, ennai aatkonduvidu
Intha theeya ennangalil irundhu ennai viduvithu vidu
Illaiyenil ithai azhithidum sakthiyai kodu
Illaiyenil ennaiye azhithu vidu

Games Gods play

You create us, the humans,
give us the five senses
which love to wande at will,
you then send Thirumoolar
who talks about taming the senses
so that we can reach you,
once and for all

You create our brains
and put a damn mind in that
which continuously wanders, from
inside of pamelas blouse, to
einsteins theory of relativity, then
you send Krishnamurthi
to instruct us to watch our mind,
so that we might realize the Truth

You create my hormones
which are on a overdrive most of the time
Which start rumbling
at the most inopportune moments, and
you send a Patanjali to instruct us, that
Brahmacharya is the sacred vow , that
can take me to greatness

It beats me to comprehend why,
why you would want to give us these things,
which, naturally, do things that
are deplored by these special people,
why do you play such games?
Why? But Why??

I know how am gonna die

Over the last few days, when I have been deep in meditation, there is this strange image that is recurring. There is this monster that eats me bit by bit. It changes me bit by bit like itself. My resistance to this monster exponentially decreases and one day I cant take it anymore and I die. All this happens, despite the best efforts of all my well wishers.

Yeah.. Ill cut the crap. That meditation thing was made up but the other parts do represent something. Any guesses?? There is this thing which if you get, attacks you at the most basic level; at the cell level. It then changes the compromised cell into one of its own, pretty much in the style of the agents in Matrix, and the new cell starts targeting other uncompromised cells. Once you get this, there is no turning back. Even the most expensive brains in the medical business cant reverse this. You should have got it right by now. Cancer. I do think, thats how my life will end, if at all a speeding water tanker in Chennai does not take the honor.

There are many reasons I think this is highly likely:
a.) I had three cavities in my teeth recently filled and I had no idea that it is mercury that is generally used to do this. Please use the services of a certain google to find out how this can affect a person. Though I am not really sure that mercury was indeed used, it is still a chance. If at all mercury was used, then it will dissolve bit by bit everytime I put something in my mouth and slowly a good amount of mercury will go into my system. Its not exactly a great feeling.

b.) After the filling, the doctor had kindly adviced me to use a certain mouthwash twice a day to reduce the sensitiveness inmy gums. Contents of it - Fluoride components. Another dude who invites cancer with outstretched arms. This was at one of the best dental hospitals in chennai. The ill effects of flouride is pretty well documented. I've stopped using that mouthwash.

c.) Right now, I live in phoren where I dont get too much indian food. So, I am forced to get frozen stuff and microwave it. Though not regularly, but still a few times a week. I can still hear my friend in India who told me not to nuke my food but that is exactly what I am doing. Could the microwave cause the cells in the food to mutate? Could this possibly affect my cells? I hope not but then my hope doesnt count. Microwave contains electromagnetic radiation. Guess, hope does not stand much of a chance against that.

d.) I lived for about 24 years in India and will probably be there again in another 2 years. India once used to be such a fertile and blessed land. It was so fertile once upon a time, that it had enough to foster the evolution of vegetarianism. No other country has such a high percentage of vegetarians. Other countries, probably, dont even come anywhere near. The only reason I could think of is the fertility of the land which offerred so much that people decide not to kill other species. But now, greed and circumstances are pushing people to poison the land with fertilizers / pesticides / what not. Once sprayed, they are not going to leave the land. They have to eventually find their way into the food cycle and into my intestine. Result? No prizes for guessing it correct.

Guess, there are lots more ways I am inviting cancer. But then, these are good enough. I just hope its not a painful ending which keeps dragging along like the mega serials.