Thursday, November 02, 2006

Update from Calgary

Caveat: After writing this whole thing down, I've realized that this is huge (brilliant discovery) and that it is rather boring. Dont waste too much time if time is at a premium!!!

Its been two months since I landed here. Lots of interesting events happened - everything from a shared feeling with Madhavan in Nala Damayanti (Madhavan in Ramji Londonwale) to coming close to being reported for sexual abuse. I am describing all these events and updates in a specific order here - the order in which they come to my mind :). This is mostly an incoherent rant, nevertheless...

Updates first
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The big thing first, the University:
Its AWESOME!! Really good university with excellent standard of education. Have taken two courses - one is introduction to cryptography (Didnt even dream that an introduction to a subject can be so rigorous) and the other one is about computer viruses and malware where we have to creat UNIX viruses and anti-viruses that run on Free BSD. I simply love this course. But this is a course for which the university has been ridiciuled, derided, abused and what not by the anti-virus companies and researchers all over the world. ( http://gauntlet.ucalgary.ca/story/9496 http://www.pcworld.com/article/id,110938-page,1/article.html) Also I am a Teaching assistant to an under-graduate Operating Systems course. Oh Boy!! Its a really rigorous course. Contrasting it with the OS I learnt at VIT, makes me look back in shame and makes me want to remove that from my transcripts. There is an OS developed at Harvard for training purposes. Its a stripped down version of UNIX. The same is used here. Students have to write code and make it a fully functional OS. They will have to implement process management, scheduling etc... Its really wonderful.

As a result of taking these two courses and my TA work, am getting royally jacked everyday. Hardly find time to even sleep. Yesterday was the first time I had dinner in three weeks!! Its so rigorous and adapting to this after years of mediocracy has been tough, but I am catching up fast.

The City:
Calgary is a really beautiful place with scenic beauty all around. You can see deers and rabbits hopping around the university campus many times. There is so much greenery around that it makes you fall in love with it. Also, it is a very clean city. Some locals claim that it is amongst the cleanest cities in the world. Its also so huge that not even people who have been here for about two years know every part well. But, unlike many US cities, this city is well connected by public transportation. So, I get to go around easily myself.

Food:
It was tough initially being a veggie here. I took me about a week to settle down in a house and start cooking. Till such time I ate outside and I hated that fact like hell. There is a huge food court in the university and I get only two things to eat there. A veggie sandwich at Subway or fried rice at a taiwanese place (NOTE: Its fried rice and NOT veg fried rice. Typically they put ham or beef in that and you need to tell the person in the counter a million times not to add meat to it, much to his amusement). Things have become much better, and I cant stress enough, once I've started cooking.

Cold:
When I came here it was hot (according to the locals) i.e. 20 deg C. Many people roamed around in lingerie :D. Off late, things have started to feel more like Canada. Its -14 today. Actually the temperature does not matter since one is well covered most of the time but when the wind blows it kills you. As murphy would have it, Calgary is a windy place. Its so bad that, no one is really bothered about the temperature; everyone cares about the wind chill. Todays temperature is -14 but the wind chill was -20. Soon, it will be -40. No no, I am not at the North pole. I am only at Calgary which is pretty close to US border. It started snowing heavily here couple of days back. The whole place was clothed in 3-4 inches of snow.

Stay:
My room mates are all international. Most people typically staty with desis and my experience is a rare exception but its a good one. Two are from Switzerland, one from Canada and one from US. They are all undergrads and hence they do all the stuff a 20 year old teen in the west will do :) while I am forced to go into my room and shut myself up. For starters, they drink more alcohol than I drink water. But, they are nice chaps and really respect privacy.

Company:
Got a few friends here with whom I spend most of my so called spare time of 10 minutes a week. As everyone is busy, to meet both parties have to be free and this is pretty rare. It is likely to get even rarer next month. Apart from that my computer at the school is my company. I have a few books at home which I read when I get really bored. I've ordered a laptop which I will get in another couple of weeks. A beautiful IBM Lenovo laptop. It should be great once I have it.


Events
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My first few hours in Canada itself was bizaare. There were so many crazy things happening around me that I really didnt know what to do. My Air India flight from Delhi was late and I missed my connecting Air Canada flight to Calgary. An officer told me to go and report to Air Calgary and that they will put me for free on the next available flight to Calgary. He then gave me the route. I needed to walk down a long corridor, take two elevators, walk across a bridge, take a train, take two more elevators (this time to go down) and walk down a tortuous path. I had hardly had any sleep in the last 24 hours and to figure this out was a big pain. After a lot of struggle and asking atleast 10 people on the way I managed to go to Air Canadas office. Phew, Toronto airport is a city in itself. They run a train service at the 8th floor level to connect buildings :0. In murphy I trust and he never fails me. Be at a printer that refuses to work right when I need it most or a request to Air Canada, murphy always stands by me. Air Canada didnt have a vacant sear in any flight to Calgary till next day morning and they refused to me give me accomodation for the night as it wasnt their flight that was late. They asked me to go back to Air Indias office by taking that small route that I had just described. It had taken me 30 mts to come here and every ounce of my reserve energy. After resting there for some time, when I was stared at repeatedly by the Janitors, I took the long route back to find that Air India had closed office for the day. I was distraught and didnt know what to do. Finally I asked a police officer who called up a lot of people to somehow get an accomodation for me. I thought, finally my adventures for the day had ended. It was not to be.

I had to call people waiting to pick me up at Calgary and inform them I am not coming today. I tried to call from a public phone but to my surprise there was no slot to insert any coins there. After staring at it for sometime, I figured out that i has a slot to take in a credit card. Desperate to talk to someone, I swiped my India credit card but much to my chagrin it wouldnt accept it. I had to get someones help to make the call. To admit that I, an educated person from India coming for masters, didnt know to make a call hurt the ego really REALLY badly. But ego had to take a back seat and I had to ask someone. He simply told me to get a calling card. I went to a shop and got that but didnt know how to use it. It had something that looked like a magnetic strip so I was vigorously swiping it but it wouldnt work. Seeing my travails, a nice gentleman asked me if I knew how to use it. I sheepisly acknowledged that I didnt no. He then demonstrated its use and before he went he asked me why I am here in Canada. I wanted to bury my head in a pile of shit. After a pause, I said, as a student.

I said to myself, "Dont worry Partha. Such crazy things happen ocaasionally. Cool it and it will all be fine". I then had a tingling feeling inside my tummy. I hadnt eaten anything for like 6 hours then. Went to a shop and asked the really good looking teenage girl at the counter for some cookies. She gave me a couple of delicious looking Macadamia white cholocate cookie on a couple of tissue papers. I wanted to take it to the hotel where I was given accomodation and eat it. This is what transpired then...
Me: "Can you give a cover"
Girl: "What? What did you ask for?"
Me: "A cover"
Girl: "You are not talking to me like that sir"
Me: "What? I just need a cover. Whats wrong in that. Please give me a cover. Dont you use covers?"
Girl: "Am gonna report you to the manager"
and she left. I was thinking, "Oh boy! What have I gotten myself into"
The Manager, a really hefty man, came and asked me, "Did you really misbehave with her?"
I was really angered then. I started to shout.
"What the hell!! You guys claim to be polite but you dont know how to behave with a person from another country. I just asked for a plastic cover to put these cookies in them and take it to my hotel and she says I've misbehaved with her. What the hell"

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.... All folks around were laughing like hell. I didnt understand a shit!!
After sometime, the manager took a cover, gave it to me and said,
"Son, we are indeed polite and welcome visitors. This is called a plastic bag and NOT a cover. A cover is the slang for a condom!!! Welcome to Canada!"

After a pretty exhausting stay in Toronto, I reached Calgary next day morning. I had asked a friend of mine at Calgary to pay the advance for a house that I picked by looking at its description on the net. I went to see the place. That was another shock. I went to see the house in person and boy, the place was not even fit to be rented out in India. It was stinking like hell. The washroom was so bad that when we opened it, it reminded me of Coovum!! The standard practice here in the west is to give the house in pristine condition to new tenants and this place was stinking like hell. I then had to fight with him and forced him to cancel the agreement. What a start!!! But it was not over. I had already paid him like 1000 dollars as part of my advance and first month rent. He said he had spent and had no money with him now. This sounded so eerily similar to my experience with my landlord when I was in Bangalore. Then, I had to give a police complaint to get back my money. I got the money back after 1 month and after atleast 10 visitis to the police station. Those thoughts made matters worse for me. I was really upset about this and really gave this guy a piece of my mind. I dont remember the last time when I had behaved so rudely with someone.
Finally, after threats of legal action from the Universities legal council, he agreed to pay half the amount now and the rest after a month. After this, I went on a big house hunt and finally found a house. For all my troubles, I got a really good place to stay. Probably, the best deal one can ever hope for here. Looking at all this, a friend commented "Aandavan nallavangala sothipaan, kai uda maatan." :)

I know you are thoroughly bored at this hhhhugggggeeee post. Dont worry, am about to end with just one more event.

I was very irritated that day. It was Diwali and I sorely missed the festive atmosphere back home. So, I decided to walk into the church, a baptist church, nearby. There were very few people in there. A couple of guys dressed in formals, replete with blazers, kept staring at me for a long time. It was quite disconcerting as I didnt know what to expect. After sometime, I left the church and went back home. I was quite happy to escape those two guys. In the evening, a good friend had invited me to his Diwali party. I was enjoying the pleasant evening and was walking briskly towards his house and suddenly...

"Good evening dear sir!! Do you remember us? We saw each other today morning in the church"
Me: "Oh yes, i remember. How is it going for you guys?"
"Great sir! Hope you are doing good too!! Which country are you from? We are missionaries and we would like to talk to you for sometime. Would you condescend sir?"
Me: "Sure. Tell me, what would you like to know. I am from India"
"Oh! good. So are you a hindu?
Me: "Yes"
"Do you believe in christ"
Me: "Yes"
"But you said you are a hindu"
Me: "Did christ every say that hindus shouldnt belive in him"
"Well, No. But do you believe in evolution? Dont you think god created us all?"
Me: "Well, I believe in evolution!! Hindu mythology talks about that"
"Dont you feel it is rather impossible for those useless monkeys to become such intelligent humans like us"
Me: "Haha. No. Dont say monkeys are useless!! In India, we worship monkeys. Almost everyhouse has a photo of a monkey and everyone worships then"
"Huh!! What?? Huh!! Talk to you later sir"

and they left.. probably thinking that I am some kind of adivasi :)

(Kumar and sriram, if at all you get to this point of the post.. do you guys recollect?)

4 comments:

BadhriNath said...

i just want to see ur facial expressions after being accused of misbehaviour.

dont you know how to behave and talk with a girl :D

Bye bye from India

Anonymous said...

cover-a ketta yen condom ketta maari muzhikkira apdinu ketturukka vendiyaadhu dhaaney? :P

pagala'k' said...

That ice cream shop...I cracked that joke...how can I forget, dude...

Good one da...it was really nice to read it...felt as though the whole thing was played out on a 70 mm screen.

naveen said...

lolz.machi, awesome post! thanks for the update. what a comedy our lives has become. am travelling alone into rural rajasthan for six weeks with my "ek gaon mein" hindi. wat (mis)adventures might happen am worried :-)