தீதும் நன்றும் பிறர்தர வாரா

Imagine this situation where most people have crackers with really long fuses tied to their bodies. This means, others have the ability to light it up if for some reason they are pissed off with us. Imagine what might happen if someone does set flame to the fuse of cracker tied to us? We will either end up fighting with the flame desperately to prevent it from coming to the cracker or get mad at the person who lighted the flame and go and fight them. Most probably, they will also have crackers tied to their body and we might go and light a fuse emanating from some cracker tied to them. They then, would get angry and fight us or might run away. But, running away does not clear their anger. This person will then light the fuse of a cracker of someone in their home. This process might continue until a simple incident snowballs into a huge one where multiple people get injured. This set up sounds utterly bizzare, but something analogous happens with our minds.

We get angry when someone speaks to us patronizingly or condescendingly. We get angry when someone disrespects us. We worry when something untoward happens. We feel unhappy when we are not let out of a select group. We are mad at our boss when the coworker gets the promotion instead of us. The list is endless. What we fail to notice, in all these cases, while someone else might have lit the fuse, the primary reason is that we have been carrying around crackers in our minds. Sometimes, the crackers are so powerful, that they should actually be called bombs. Thus, we become human bombs. There is great potential for all round misery and suffering wherever we go. All our efforts are at preventing others from coming anywhere near the fuse. Most of our adult lives are wasted in this. But, seldom do we care about dealing with the cracker. Madness, isnt it?

When humanity saw the relative position of the sun and earth, it was obvious to everyone that the sun went around the earth. The perfectly possible alternative explanation of the earth rotating on its own axis with a fixed sun position never occurred to anyone. Perfect example of the default mode of thinking. The responsibility is not here, its always there.

Spirituality teaches us that getting rid of these crackers / bombs from our mind is a primary responsiblity of each individual. Getting rid of them is freedom. Getting rid of them is bliss as there is total absence of suffering. Keeping them is madness. Blaming others is even more madness. Can we all stand up and take responsiblity for the crackers / bombs we are hosting in our minds? Can we defuse the crackers? Then, and only then, we will be able to deal compassionately with someone who tries to set flame to a fuse attached to us. Gradually, they will also realize there is no point in that.

The same is applicable to happiness also. The following tamil saying, captures it beautifully and most pithily!

தீதும் நன்றும் பிறர்தர வாரா

Good and Bad do not originate outside.