Calling vs Passion

There is the language of careers - where, for the biggest chunk of adult life, every single major decision is based on how it will affect their careers. In here, almost every non-trivial action is judged by how that action will contribute towards the persons happiness 20 years down the line. This has the unenviable side effect of losing track of reality. Life passes by while one is busy building a career. It contributes heavily to the dulling of the soft feelings in one to other humans and to beauty (non-sensual & sensual) around us!

Then, there are the alternative languages. There are two of them to be specific. I call them, 'the language of calling' & 'the language of passion'. Each is not easily comprehensible to the speakers of the other. There are similarities and differences.

While, the speakers of the 'language of calling' talk about the divine inviting them to accomplish something and the complete absence of fear in its pursuit, the other bunch talk about something about which they are so deeply passionate, so deeply enjoy doing, that they are willing to let go of everything in order to be able to be at it! Both have their drawbacks. Nevertheless, in both, there is a certain freshness to life. Events and people are not measured by how they are helpful in accomplishing some personal target! Instead, everyone and every action are treated afresh.

One is about the descent of divinity into humanity. The other is about the ascent of humanity to stratospheric consciousness levels. The former may be approximated to Vedanta and the latter to Yoga! Nevertheless, at their sublimely pure forms, both languages, in my opinion, mean exactly the same! The primal and the dual, in a linear program, have exactly the same optimal value!

Which language do you speak?

All pervading

If there is one thing that can compete with Brahman / Tao for the status of all pervading, it would be self deception!

Loneliness

There are two kinds of loneliness: that of the prisoner in a dark cell and that of an eagle over snow clad peaks!

In the latter, there is so much freedom, beauty and enjoyment already, that companionship is welcome only when all these are not threatened. The loveliness of companionship is acknowledged and enjoyed as long as it lasts. While all effort is made to ensure its continuity, there is no prolonged crying over the ending of it. When the end becomes inevitable, it is embraced whole heartedly. Freedom and beauty always remain.

But, in the former, there is already lack of freedom and beauty and the individual is suffering. Companionship is sought after as an escape from this. Companionship becomes a crutch for both the partners. Though initially this might give respite, later on it adds on to the misery. A lot of force is involved in retaining the crutch and separation is extremely painful.

This holds good for most things. Companionship is probably one of the primary such thing and hence I chose it to illustrate the point here.

Spontaneous moderation

'When thoroughly enjoyed, moderation is spontaneous' - Anthony de Mello

சும்மா இருக்க கத்துகணும்

சும்மா இருக்க கத்துகணும், இந்த உண்மையை சொன்னா ஒத்துகணும்!

Can we simply be without doing anything - without out a book, without music and even without thoughts.

Is that possible for you?

Layers of mind

JK on layers of mind - from his biography by Pupul Jayakar

First comes the layer of everyday activity - eating, going to the office, drinking, meeting people, the conditioned habits that operate automatically. It is obviously a static state that conforms to a pattern.

When ones routine is disturbed, the surface layer ceases for an instant and what is below reveals itself. For convenience, we will call this the second layer (of course, since consciousness is non spatial, it cannot be accurate to use terms indicating layer or level). The thinking that emerges from this layer is still conditioned memory, but is not as automatic as the surface layer. It is more active, more elastic; it has more nuances. Here, thought need not conform so completely to pattern, it has more vitality. The next layer is conditioned by like, dislike, choosing, judging, identifying. Here, there is the sense of ego established and in focus.

Next, comes the unconscious memories of the individual and the collective, the tendencies, the forces, the urges, the racial instincts; this is the whole network of desire, the matrix of desire. There is an extraordinary movement here. The ego is still functioning - ego as desire moving in its patterns of cause and effect. The ego as desire that continues. The ego with its unconscious tendencies that reincarnate.

சித்திரம் பேசுதடி

சித்திரம் பேசுதடி என் சிந்தை மயங்குதடி

Your picture speaks, and my mind is enraptured!

Intelligence and Creativity

My take on intelligence and creativity!

Being able to do maths or being able to do shrewd business is not a measure of intelligence. To understand we must look at why the mind does all of these things. We must look at the mind in its totality. In the vast majority of the case, one part of the mind (the ego / the individual) deploys the other part of the mind to do math in order to achieve fame or social status etc. We usually think 'high' of such people, who use their so called intelligence to grow socially. They are constantly in struggle with others who come in their way, thereby disturbing their peace and the peace of others.

Only a mind that recognizes this, recognizes itself. A vast majority of people do not recognize this. The recognition is the way out of sickness called ego. It requires tremendous sincerity and constant attention to the contents of ones own mind. This is a measure of intelligence, not the ability to do math. Calculators can do that better.

Similarly, being able to paint like some great painter is not creativity. If the mind is playing out old past conditioned patterns, then it is repeating the same things again and again. It keeps repeating the past again and again. In its effort to repeat the past, it might create some painting. How can this be considered to be creative when the larger canvas is one of repetition. Only the mind that is free from its past, is the one can live afresh. Hence, only such a mind can be called creative!

Black hole like truth

Getting introduced to self knowledge is like getting into the gravitational field of a black hole. Either you go straight into nothingness or, you struggle to escape, and get ripped apart into bits and then enter nothingness. There is no escape!

Unesoteric enlightenment

"Who Am I", says Ramana, is the most important spiritual question. To answer this, we must first understand the question. Usual answers linger around 'I' is permanent, 'I' is the only thing that exists, 'I' is eternal etc etc. All this is very esoteric and seems to be for only a selected set of folks! Isnt it better to keep it simple?

I feel that 'I' is that for which we care for. We care for our body primarily and the 'I' resides in it. We care for our computer on which we are reading this and 'I' is attached to it. We care for our spouses and the 'I' is there too. But we dont care that much for some distant relative as we care for our spouses and we dont care that much for some random person in another continent as much as we care for a distant relative and thus the 'I' tapers off. Insight into why this happens will certainly help in identifying the 'I'.

When we see that we care more for some people simply because of the relationship they have with our egos, it will help in fixing the tapering of the 'I' to a great extent. This is not to deny that relationships deepen with time and hence we will be affected more when something happens to someone with us. But, it is usually totally mixed up with the ego. We suffer more when our parents suffer than when our neighbors suffer. When this fact is clearly seen, the I suddenly expands. If one is lucky enough, it may even expand to cover all of creation! This requires sincerity and total attention to every act / thought we indulge in to investigate why we are involved in it? With time, we will slowly weed out the interests we have due to our ego. Eventually we will be able to weed out our ego to a large extent and then, we will be genuinely involved in every thought / action and not because of narrow egoic interests.

To me, this is enlightenment, the unesoteric variety, where the ego goes away completely and one cares genuinely for all of creation. This is almost dull and boring. Its not material to be written about in many books and thereby make profits, and contains absolutely nothing in it to attract hot, young babes! It is not some esoteric thing about the body glowing in light or about one feeling one exists inside every form of matter or about being able to look back at ones past lives. All this may be true. May not be also. I do not know. The great seers say that one who knows does not talk and so we may never know if these aspects are true. But, we certainly can chop of all hindrances in us that prevents the 'I' from expanding and thus start caring genuinely for all of creation!

Connecting through vulnerabilities

People often talk about connecting with others. I have been thinking what connecting is. The only touchstone that I kept coming to again and again is about sharing vulnerabilities. For if fears / desires / frustrations / happiness etc are not shared in a relationship, I cannot see how it can be called a mature relationship.

Some do not share because they are afraid of their vulnerabilities and hide them and put up a brave face. Some do not share because they want to be like Ramana and they hide their vulnerabilities from themselves. Both are problems in different dimensions. In some 'relationships', people are not happy to listen to other persons vulnerabilities. Obviously these are frivolous relationships and will fall away in no time. In another category, one person might be truly and genuinely happy to listen but wouldnt share their vulnerabilities. This is also obviously shallow. The issue could be with both partners here though. Nevertheless, the relationship is certainly not mature.

Sharing has its share of risks, no doubt. One does not want to be abused for sure. But then, if the sharing does not happen due to reasons like the ones mentioned above, then its a problem, in my opinion, and the relationship is certainly not one on a solid footing as yet! If one cannot connect with people around hirself, how can one connect with all of cosmos?

Partners in marriage

"For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow" - Kahlil Gibran

PS: Courtesy Vidhya

Student - Teacher

When the student is ready, the teacher better disappear!

JK and ADM

Reading the works of Jiddu Krishnamurthi and Anthony de Mello alternately, is like sitting in a very well presented theoretical computer science talk where rigorous proofs and intuitive examples are provided alternately.

Loneliness

"Cure for loneliness is not company, but contact with reality." - Fr. Anthony!

Call to Love

Way to love by Anthony de Mello

This is one of the best books on meditation that I have read! Strongly recommend this book! I found an alternate edition, 'Call to love', in Bengaluru for Rs. 50/-!

சொல்லடி சிவசக்தி

சொல்லடி சிவசக்தி - எனைச்

சுடர்மிகும் அறிவுடன் படைத்துவிட்டாய்!

வல்லமை தாராயோ - இந்த

மாநிலம் பயனுற வாழ்வதற்கே!

சொல்லடி சிவசக்தி - நிலச்

சுமையென வாழ்ந்திடப் புரிகுவையோ!

கூவம்

கூவம் நதி, தன் நாற்றத்தை சென்னை நகரெங்கும் தேடுகிறதாம்!
Heard that cooum river searches for a foul smell emanating from it all over Chennai!


This is what I want to say to people who think that the panacea for the crisis faced by humanity is to fix the external structures like corporations, capitalism etc...!

Sun - crows - me

Day in and day out,

the sun rises in exquisite beauty,

sets in splendorous glory,

paints the sky in vivid colors,

and gets the crows to dance,

and here I am,

complaining endlessly!

10 things before I die

10 things I want to do before I die (not in any particular order of preference)!

1.) Be totally silent for hundred days (one month at least)

2.) Have a year where I do proper asana (solid 1.5 hrs practice) at least 300 times!

3.) Look at the full moon from different natural surroundings - from deep within the sea, from besides a river, from a mountain, from a desert!

4.) Have sex with a woman I have tender feelings for on a grass bed with dew on it, in a natural setting! (without getting into youtube :D)

5.) Plant a lot of trees ~ at least 1000. Not fund it. Physically plant them and tend to them.

6.) Learn basic farming - be able to handle a small farm at least.

7.) Learn some basic dance - to be able to dance, without being an eye sore, to many forms of music.

8.) Learn to cook / bake a good variety of things

9.) Go on some big treks in the Himalayas

10.) Live a year without reading anything

Let me know what your list is! Either by mail or as comments here!

PS: Decided to not leave 4 out after lengthy personal debate!

Special?

From Moksha Junkyard

You hear often that to be born as a human being is so rare and is a special blessing. But most of your life time you wonder how special it is, especially when you see even ants, rats and crows appear lot more happier and free.

Wisecrack

A wisecrack from a friend

All big chunk misery is self or hormone created!!

Contact with God

I really love Anthony De Mellos wit. Most of his wit and short stories are collected in the following four books:

• One minute wisdom
• One minute nonsense
• Prayer of the frog
• Song of the bird

I strongly recommend all of these four books. All four of them contain one page short stories that are filled with great wisdom and sharp wit.

Inspired by these books, I read another of his book titled 'Contact with God - Retreat Conferences'. I couldnt stand it. I found it to be exceedingly boring except for the second half of a chapter titled 'The dangers of Repentance'. Ill have to say I liked this chapter. In here, he talks about the neurotic fear of God that many christians have (he talks about christians only because this book is a transcript of a retreat he organized for christian priests). He talks about how people imagine God to be demanding and how God seems to be a kill-joy.

He has an interesting quote from a jesuit priest who was perpetually under fear until he recognized something. I am reproducing here what he thought,

"God, I really hate you. You are a kill-joy. I just cannot enjoy life while you are around. You won't allow me. You wont let me free"

Anything that binds us, anything that wont let us free is a hindrance!

Special

I am special because I know the truth that no one is special. :P

JK on fear and escape

JK on fear and escape from Commentaries on Living

Another person: "Then my fear arises from my own hollowness, my insufficiency. I see that all right, and it is true; but what am I to do about it?"

JK: You cannot do anything about it. Whatever you do is an activity of escape. That is the most essential thing to realize. Then you will see that you are not different or separate from that hollowness. You are that insufficiency. The observer is the observed emptiness. Then if you proceed further, there is no longer calling it loneliness; the terming of it has ceased. If you proceed still further, which is rather arduous, the thing known as loneliness is not; there is a complete cessation of loneliness, emptiness, of the thinker as the thought. This alone puts an end to fear.

JK on the mind and its movement

JK on the mind and its movement from Commentaries on Living

The past, the present and the future are tied together by the long string of memory; the whole bundle is memory, with little fragrance. Thought moves through the present to the future and back again; like a restless animal tied to a post, it moves within its own radius, narrow or wide, but it is never free of its own shadow. This movement is the occupation of the mind with the past, the present and the future. The mind is the occupation. If the mind is not occupied, it ceases to exist; its very occupation is its existence. The occupation with insult and flattery, with God and drink, with virtue and passion, with work and expression, with storing up and giving, is all the same; it is still occupation, worry, restlessness. To be occupied with something, whether with furniture or God, is a state of pettiness, shallowness.

Occupation gives,to the mind a feeling of activity, of being alive. That is why the mind stores up, or renounces; it sustains itself with occupation. The mind must be busy with something. What it is busy with is of little importance; the important thing is that it be occupied, and the better occupations have social significance. To be occupied with something is the nature of the mind, and its activity springs from this. To be occupied with God, with the State, with knowledge, is the activity of a petty mind. Occupation with something implies limitation, and the God of the mind is a petty god, however high it may place him. Without occupation, the mind is not; and the fear of not being makes the mind restless and active. This restless activity has the appearance of life, but it is not life; it leads always to death - a death which is the same activity in another form.

Mesmerizing Crows

Its a beautiful sight to see a bunch of crows fly right across the setting tropical sun, i.e. when the sun appears to be a big orange ball that makes the sky pinkish orange in color.

I am mesmerized by this sight in particular and also by the flight of crows!

Nithyananda episode

This Nithyananda episode is all over TN news channels. As expected, there is denial from the swamis ashram, and, given all the technological feats that people are capable of, we really may never know if the swami is involved. Irrespective of this, I am neither sad nor outraged about Nithyananda.

I just have a word to say about the people who went to him and claim to be outraged now, and that is what Jesus said, 'may the first person to stone be the one who has not sinned'.

All those who went to him went seeking some sort of spiritual gifts from him. They were with him in the desire of becoming something with his help. This is no different from any other form of lust. Hence, all they have to do is to look at themselves to find out why they went there.

Of course, this is no comment on the legal issues involved. The law will take its own course. Lets not come to any conclusions about the person concerned and let the law decide. Even if it is him, we only need to question the tactics primarily. To have sex or not to with another consenting adult is an individuals problem.

PS: Incidentally, I had written about the guru test recently :)

புதைமணல்

புதைமணலின் மீது கட்டிய கட்டிடம் சரிவதை கண்டு, ஏன் இவ்வளவு அதிர்ச்சி?

Why are we stunned when our structures built on quicksand collapse?

பிரம்மம் & பிரம்மை

இருக்கும் பிரம்மத்தை விட்டு,

இல்லாத பிரம்மையை தேடி

ஏனோ நீ அலைகின்றாய்,

என் அன்பு மனமே!

Ignoring the all pervading at hand,

Pursuing the ever illusory,

Why do you roam like this,

My dear mind?

Psychological time

We ask for time to end psychological time. While we think it is temporal time that we are asking for, most often it is psychological time that we are asking for and thereby we propagate the vicious cycle! :)

The ending of psychological time is instantaneous on the axis of psychological time.