People often talk about connecting with others. I have been thinking what connecting is. The only touchstone that I kept coming to again and again is about sharing vulnerabilities. For if fears / desires / frustrations / happiness etc are not shared in a relationship, I cannot see how it can be called a mature relationship.
Some do not share because they are afraid of their vulnerabilities and hide them and put up a brave face. Some do not share because they want to be like Ramana and they hide their vulnerabilities from themselves. Both are problems in different dimensions. In some 'relationships', people are not happy to listen to other persons vulnerabilities. Obviously these are frivolous relationships and will fall away in no time. In another category, one person might be truly and genuinely happy to listen but wouldnt share their vulnerabilities. This is also obviously shallow. The issue could be with both partners here though. Nevertheless, the relationship is certainly not mature.
Sharing has its share of risks, no doubt. One does not want to be abused for sure. But then, if the sharing does not happen due to reasons like the ones mentioned above, then its a problem, in my opinion, and the relationship is certainly not one on a solid footing as yet! If one cannot connect with people around hirself, how can one connect with all of cosmos?
1 comment:
Very well explained. Interestingly I have been thinking on similar lines and wrote a post yesterday on vulnerability as well: http://autobiographyofanunknownmoment.blogspot.com/2010/03/beauty-of-nakedness.html
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