Friday, November 09, 2007


"Am I afraid?" I pose this question to myself every time I am in an introspective mood. Invariably the answer is yes. The follow up question would be 'What is it that I am afraid of?' Invariably, I am unable to nail it. I am not able to make a roster of things that scare me to death. Is it that the list (if it exists) is too complex for me to put down or is it that I am confused? Or is it just that I am afraid to face reality? Is it the same with everyone else too?

Our lives these days are full of "Fear". At every stage of our lives we fear. From the little kid to the dying old man.... all have fear.

Fear of failing, fear of falling, fear of not getting admission into school, fear of not getting a job, fear of loving, fear of being loved, fear of loneliness, fear of being in a crowd, fear of not getting married, fear of not having an affair, fear of having a relationship, fear of not having a relationship, fear of not finding the right partner, fear of infections, fear of diseases, fear of being adventurous, fear of not having a good luxurious life, fear of speaking, fear of not being liked, fear of being judged.... and the list goes on! Just endless!

Lets forget the fears of physical harm and look more at the emotional fears. These emotional fears take a huge toll on our lives. We are no more what we are. We hide ourselves in a cocoon of fears and portray a completely different "self" fitting into all the norms and patterns that which the society calls "Normal". As time progresses, we get sufficiently inured to these fears that we start fearing losing these fears coz we become the sum total of all our fears. We become non-entities without our fears.

The classic example of fear taking a toll would be the unfortunate truth that our 'likes' and 'dislikes' are dictated by our fears. Fear of being judged a non-conformist, fear of being rejected, fear of being a failure, fear of not being accepted and many other variants of these fears decides what we like and what we don't like. Thus, we set agendas to our emotions. Starting from the simplest thing to the most significant things, our fears rule the roost.

This split within ourselves, between what we actually are and what our fear makes us be, has horrifying consequences. It reduces a human, full of emotions and possibilities, into a machine at best and a corpse at worst. Externally, the person has a shape and form, but internally, unbeknownst to the rest of the world, the person has a totally differnt shape and form. A large chunk of the persons life is wasted in arbitrating the fight between these two parts. Just contemplate for a minute about the scenario when this fight stops. In my humble opinion, its so splendorous and wonderful. The possibilities are huge and the person will live his/her life to the fullest.

The fact is, we all suffer from "Multiple Personality Disorder(MPD)". We mask ourselves into different personalities and portray them as and when it fits. Why is it then only a few people are treated for MPD??... when the whole society is sufferring from this disorder? Can something be done about this?

Unless our fears do not harm anyone else and also we do not land up being "paranoids of fear", affecting ourselves completely, it is reasonable to have some amount of fear. The best we can do is, stop doubting everything and anything and stop having agendas for our emotions! Just be ourselves and give room for some lunacy every now and then and let our emotions flow.

After a month long of continuous fear, introspection, retrospection, discussion with friends... I have been able to answer my question partially...

Atleast now, I can face the reality and proudly say that "Yes, I am afraid" and treat myself with some lunacy that we all crave for, but never really have the courage to do it in real because we are all bugged by the huge bug of "Fear"!


Anonymous said...

good one sneha..
clear my fear due to our emotions ..or our emotions create so called'fear'...

Sneha said...

Thank you :)

I feel... it is like.. which came first? Egg or the Chicken?

Aakanksha said...

Good one Sneha Didi...

I will also make an attempt to answer the question asked in the first comment:

I think fear itself is an emotion and saying that fear is caused due to our emotions or the emotions create the so called "fear" is one and the same thing because they are both emotions. Fear is just a state of mind.
My mother always says, "darr bina preet nahi", meaning, "Without fear, no love", we love something because we are AFRAID we might lose it and so we continue to love it, cherish it, continue to work hard so as to maintain it... so that we don't have to let go of it. Therefore, to me, fear is just an outcome of having loved/adored/cherished something when there is a possibility of losing it.

noorie said...

Well written dear.

I concur that sometimes our likes and dislikes are dictated by our fears. More from the fear of society that our likings and dislikings can by completely rejected by the society. Fear also depends on the society we live in, the situations, economy etc etc.

I think the use of the term " Multiple Personality disorder" is out of context here. Rather, I would prefer to use the word "hypocrite". Since we mask ourselves into different personalities and portray them as and when it fits.

A small bit of information about MPD. It is the formation and emergence of alternate personality states. The patient won't even know that he/she is suffering from this disorder. It is also referred as DID (dissociative identity disorder) is mostly the result of childhood abuse and unspecified long-term societal changes, like war crimes, civil war etc. It is also mostly observed in females, may be because they are the subject of the most childhood abuse. It is very well shown in a Kannada movie “Apthamithra” .

and i completely agree with Aakanksha that fear itself is an emotion. Fear of being ignored or not being loved anymore from the near and dear ones is one of the big fear each and everyone faces.

Anya said...

Its very well written (mostly about emotional fears) but I prefer to think slightly differently.

Fear is inherent in everyone. It is the degree of fear what matters. MPD people have upper limits. Normal people have normal scale. Without fear there will be civil wars and no peace in the societies. The courts and police would become irrelevant if there was no fear in people to commit offences. Fear of global warming is better than no fear of global warming.

Fear is important I believe. But rationally one has nothing to fear if he/she has done nothing wrong. Fear invented because of ones background or country or family or some incident can be so much unique for each one of us. As long as we believe in the moral part rather than just for the sake of fear it is OK. As long as we are strong enough to control our fears, it will never overtake us.